If you discover anything that contradicts what you think you know about him – watch out! And, if he doesn’t have any friends, that’s also a big red flag. Look for signs of alcohol, drugs, or other addictions. Find a man who thinks your independence is a plus and not a dirty word. He’s insecure and threatened by your confidence, your independence. Don’t buy into the someone- is-better-than-no-one philosophy…that he is the last person on earth you will ever meet. If you don’t like his friends, that’s a big red flag. How many years do you want to waste to a dead-end relationship? Make sure he’s not threatened by your independence. Watch out for the guy who tells you he doesn’t have enough money and never takes you out to dinner, or wants you to pay for the cruise, who thinks you’d do it just to have his company. Don’t be a rescuer, looking for the walking wounded. Learn what you like and what you don’t like, what is good for you and what’s not. A study published this week (THURS) in the journal Science found that the gut instincts reactions people had about each other shortly after their marriage helped predict whether they'd still be together four years later.We go through life trying to make decisions based on rational thought and principle over gut feeling, only later to realize we should have listened to that deep gnawing in the pit of our stomachs.
Don’t accept less from him than you are willing to give. Look for a person who is mature, a nice guy who comes from his heart, who is kind and giving of himself, who cares about you, who nurtures your soul. If the new relationship is all about him, or if you are in it only because you need to be with someone, this is not a healthy relationship. If the relationship is not going anywhere, move on. Don’t buy into his story and wind up stuck in a dead-end relationship. Those night-before-the-wedding jitters might have been more logical than you thought.A study published this week in the journal Science found that the gut reactions people had about each other shortly after their marriage helped predict whether they'd still be together four years later.Discuss it with a trusted friend, or write it down.Bringing a déjà vu experience that happens in the context of a relationship into the open energizes it, acknowledges its significance, and enables you to find out what it's trying to tell you or where it's trying to lead you.